I need help removing her.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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