Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize