I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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