What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
