i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
