It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize