The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
