can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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