Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
