Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
