One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
