its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
