We're facebook friends in real life
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize