yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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