Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
