Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize