He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
