trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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