Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
