I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize