Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
