what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
home. puking in laundry basket.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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