ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
