I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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