how can u be prego again
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
