It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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