remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
