Got a toothbrush?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
