I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
