would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
