hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
