I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
