im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
