so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
