So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
