Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize