fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
