As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
