i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
