I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
