He is such a slut. More and more my type.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
