she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I bet he comes in French.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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