Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
