I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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