Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize