So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
