Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
