Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
