Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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