And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
