He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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