it wasn't lemon gatorade
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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