i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
