she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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