In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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