The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
did i walk over a car last night?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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