brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
