I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
