he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
