census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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