We need to rekindle our bromance
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize