I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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