You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Enjoy the penises
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
