how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
now i know why i became what i already was.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
