How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize